Tuesday, 21 August 2012

We’ve all got to start somewhere – or maybe not start at all?


Today, the start of my mission, I was all rearing to go and had so much motivation.

Last night I lay awake thinking of ideas for my blog and what I could use it for in the future and boy was it glorious! Even at 4am the wonderful ideas kept coming (not that I can remember them now mind you!).

Today, d-day as you will. The day I start the change. A new start.
So, how did it go you ask?
Well. I didn’t drink any sugary drinks *pats self on back*. I drank coffee, (lowfat) milk and water. (Actually I can’t lie, I did have a wee sip of my partners drink tonight, ugh, I thought I had better start this honestly *takes back self back pat and shakes head, tsk tsk*).
So that was an average but not entirely hopeless start.Although, it does get worse. I didn’t get to make-up and hair today, that is tomorrows project but I did do a lot of cleaning to that was overly glamorous anyway.
Finally the weight loss thing. I was going great guns had a really healthy diet all day until about 3.My friend and her mother came by to see me and baby, they bought some chocolate biscuits. They left the packet behind. The packet is now empty. (My partner and I had the last few after dinner).
This is why I never have that stuff in the house anymore. I just can not risk it. I have no will power. I can say no in the supermarket and feel proud as punch as I push my trolley around the supermarket with no junk food scoffing at the other people who have all those nasties. However, once I am in the privacy of my own home… A monster is released. I am not sure who unlocks the cage, but this beast has no self control. If something gets opened this monster feels as though she has to gorge on everything until she feels sick.
Then I look over to my sweet innocent baby girl. She is judging me, she smiles and coos, but I know, really she is thinking…” WHAT THE HECK DID I WITNESS…. If I keep cool and ignore it we can pretend like it never happened, that was an awful sight. She’s looking, oh gawd… just coo, that’s right, now smile. Maybe now she thinks I didn’t see.”  (I am sure she was thinking that, or it was my inner crazy….) – I do not want my baby to think that it is O.K to turn into the hungus monster as soon as she is alone. Its this sneakiness that has snuck all those extra kilos onto my 5’3″ frame.
So there you have it, no sugary drinks but I gorged on choccy biscuits. OH WELL… 
Maybe
 I can do
 a little
 better tomorrow. That is what is great, every new day is like a new start.
Also, I might take a photo of me side view *shudder* and put it here… On. The. Internet. For the ENTIRE world to see – by entire world, I must clarify, the only person who has seen my blog is me, but that picture would be there and could be found, if someone looked really really hard. THAT should hold me accountable! ( well as long as I continue to log in and see the horror of it!)
Day 1: 
Failure
 Not as entirely successful as I had imagined. (Positivity, no negative Nancy here!)

A xx

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